Thin Line between Love and HATE!

*yall I’m sorry…DON’T beat me... that is all... enjoy! LOVE @TrebbleBarbie*

Safaree arrived back in Florida around 7:02 pm. The sun was still shining but it was a bright orange and golden color. It was around 70 degrees in Miami so safaree was dressed perfectly for the weather. On the plane ride over safaree prayed to the lord that somehow or someway that nicki could forgive him. He knew how his wife was and he knew he was not about to get off that easy. Before the door let down of the private jet safaree took a deep breath and readied himself for what was about to come. He was ready to see his wife in person and kiss her and hold her, but he was afraid of what was to come later. Safaree even thought about holding it in, but he knew it would eat him alive trying to keep something away from nick.

Nicki had been there for 2 hours already anxious to see safaree. She was so happy! She glowed with every step she took. She couldn’t wait to tell him about their newest addition so he can piss and call up his family. The time was so right and the day was perfect. Usually it rains in Florida everyday and never really gets to cold, just a spring breeze, but today it didn’t rain and the sun stayed shining. Nicki was on the runway in her porche truck waiting on safaree to walk down the private jet stairs.

Safaree took a step down the stairs of the private jet and saw nicki leaning against the truck. Safaree’s mind went blank of all the worry when he saw his wife. He grabbed tight to his LV duffle bag and ran down the stairs. When he got close to the car nicki stood up straight and walked towards him. She didn’t want to run because of her little bun in the oven. Safaree scooped nicki up and they kissed to what felt like eternity. Everything felt so right to him but so wrong because he knew he had to tell her.

“Hey big daddy! I see you missed mama!”

“You know I missed mama” he kissed her again. They pulled back from each other and smiled.

“I missed you more Faree” safaree slid her down his body slowly and hugged her tight. He put his nose to her hair and took a deep breath

“I missed your scent sweetheart, the whole family missed you, and they were wondering why you didn’t come and why you just sent me. But momma understood and she said she was grateful for you doing that because things like that make marriages last” safaree felt horrible telling her his mother said

“I’m glad I did too. It just makes us want each other more. My break was good and I hope you enjoyed your.” Safaree said nothing but picked up his duffle and threw it in the truck. He helped nicki into the passenger side and he drove home.

-

*back in New York*

“Hello Candi?”

“Yeah laur!”

“Now hwy in the hell you hang up on me? Something is wrong with you child”

“Because I did something stupid”

“What did you do? And you not happy for nicki?”

“I’m way more than happy but I gotta tell you something”

“What is it Candi?”

“Well don’t you know Monica the one that you didn’t get a good vibe from?”

“Yeah what about her?”

“Well she was the one to take safaree back and...”

“And what? Candi!”

“And… you can say she practically rape safaree. She had sex with him without a condom while he was passed out”

“Bitch what?”

“Yes Lauren! Omg I don’t know what to do. I feel so bad for bringing her around safaree. She said she did not know who he was. I don’t understand why she would go for him though and I told her he was my brother”

“Because that’s what nasty gold diggin bitches like herself do. When they see a nigga with money they gon try and bag his ass with a child or anything. And I believe that’s exactly what she was thinking.”

“I feel so bad. Nicki is going to hate me”

“You should! And she might not even talk to your ass anymore. I told you I didn’t have a good vibe from that ugly nerd bitch! I knew she was up to something”

“I kicked her out of my house after we got off the phone I told her I would talk to her later. I can’t believe that she would do that and then she had the nerve to say he kept saying nicki name but she aint know who it was, and she saw his tattoo but she still didn’t know who she was. I don’t get it. I’m just frustrated. But laur! I don’t want to lose my bestest friend over a friend I talk to every two years. It’s unethical and unreal like I can’t believe this shit. I know nicki is going to hate me.”

“Well, after SB tells her we will see. Did he say when he was going to tell her? You know he don’t know anything about the baby right?!!! And she was going to surprise him. Omg this will be a horrible day if he tells her now”

“Well newsflash he said he’s telling her today and I hate myself and I’m about to lose my best friend of 22 years! Shout out to that shit. Lauren I have to get away! I will call you when I can. I love you bye.”

“But can...” 

the phone cut Lauren off before she could say anything else. She was worried for both of her best friends and safaree. Life just wasn’t right. Lauren sighed and waited by the phone until she got the dreadful call from Onika because she knew it was coming, her throat was in her gut, she no longer was happy.

-

“Baby why you haven’t said anything the whole ride home” nicki said to safaree. He was thinking the whole time about how he would come out and say it.

Nicki was excited about what was at home and ready to tell him.

“Baby, nothing is wrong with me I’m just thinking.” They pulled up to the house and got out the car. Safaree got out first and helped nicki out the car and stood there staring at her bright cool-aid smile. He knew some way that he wasn’t going to see it for a while so he sucked it all in. he kissed her like he would never kiss her again and let her go.

“Dang baby what was that for? I was finna rip my clothes off right here that was so good”

“I love you” was all he could say.

“Aren’t you getting your bags out the car?”

“In a second”

“Oh okay. Baby I have a surprise for you and I want you to play this little ga...” he cut her off. He grabbed her by her waist and turned her around to speak to her

“Before we go in Onika I have to tell you something, it not the best thing, so hold out on the surprise baby because this is very important. I said I would never lie to you and love you unconditionally and the best time to tell you are now… I mean I was going to tell you anyways… baby just promise me you will continue loving me, please don’t hate me.” Nicki was messing with the keys to open the door.

“Safaree, just tell me safaree, I could never hate you, just tell me, just come out and say it your scarring me.” Nicki said while opening the door and letting them in. as soon as they step foot in the door safaree closed it and pressed his back to it with his head down.

“Well, when I was in New York you know I visited all my family and stuff, but I also hung with the guys a lot. We caught up on a lot of things and had fun. But last night before I came in today, I went to club hush, I got Candi and Lauren and their friends a stretch porche so they can ride up in style and them bottles of rose so everybody was free getting in. then I got the hotel so I wouldn’t disturb my mother coming home at 5 or 6 in the morning. I called you and told you that. But then before I started drinking I promised the guys I would get pissy drunk with them since we haven’t did it in almost 2 years. But instead of just drink regular drinks they made me try Lean and I was not use to it. My body was complete numb to it. I couldn’t feel anything and I don’t remember shit that happened. I was high off the lean and passed out. But before I passed out I know Candice introduced me to her friend named Monica and she tried to shake my hand but I didn’t shake it. I told Lauren to drive my car back to the hotel when I was pissy drunk but everybody got slapped so that didn’t help.  But I guess Candi friend Monica drove me back and helped me to the room. I blacked out literally after that, I remember calling your name but no response. I woke up and I was naked only with jewelry and socks on. My wallet was empty of the stack that I put in it. I knew something had gone down. So I looked up at the bathroom door to see Candi friend Monica. She practically told me she had sex with me while I was under the influence. Okay there you go I said it” he took a deep breath but prepared himself for the worst. But all he knew was that he got it off of his chest and maybe they could move forward from there.

“So you had sex with her? So you fucked her?” nicki was stunned at what she just heard coming from her own husbands mouth. She placed her hands on her hips and started to pace the white marble beneath her waiting on a response from her husband. She was flustered and outraged; this really defeated her and knocked everything about the surprise out the water. Aint no way in hell she was telling him about the baby now.

“Dats…Dats not what I’m saying baby she…” he stumbled over his words and she cut him off

“No! That is what you’re saying; you’re saying you cheated on me.” Nicki said pacing the floor giving him side eyes every time she walked past.

“Baby it was a mistake.”

“No, no safaree why would you go out and drink, when you haven’t drink heavy in a whole year and some change? Why would you start now?”

“Sweetheart! You told me to go have fun with the guys…”

“No! I said to have fun with your friends! Not get drunk and fuck another plain Jane bitch”

“Baby I tried lean with the Vaks and I wasn’t use to it, my body reacted poorly to it so I didn’t know what was going on.”

“What made it right in your mind to try lean? Then go out? Especially when you haven’t tried it before. Do you know you could have overdosed on that shit, its cough syrup! You aint got no muthafuckin cold! You out there tryna keep up with your stupid ass friend, that’s why I don’t like those ol’ crusty muthafuckas…”

“But you know them my friends though; you the one who sent me out there for 2 weeks… and if you didn’t like them why did you send me out there?”

“Because they yo dusty ass friends and I knew it would have made you happy but I never thought sending you out there would ruin our marriage and be the biggest mistake of my life.” Nicki pushed his chest but kept pacing the white marble.

“Baby I wasn’t lucid I was passed the fuck out. I promise I didn’t mean too…”

“I don’t want to hear your fucking excuses...”

“Baby it’s not an excuse it’s the truth”

“Safaree I don’t know what the fuck is the truth anymore! You promised me you wouldn’t drink that heavy anymore, and at one point in time you were becoming an alcoholic. That’s a problem for me. And then you did the dummy out of all things and tried lean? I can’t believe you”

“But…. But”

“But the fuck nothing! You cheated plain and simple.”

“Baby it was done unconsciously I dint mean too” safaree said trying to stare her in the eyes as she kept pacing very fast. He wanted to read her expressions but couldn’t.

“But you did, unconscious or conscious you did it.”

“Baby listen to me…”

“Listen my ass” she stopped and stared him in the face

“I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry, I just… I just… I fucked up. You right there is no excuse for my actions.”

“Yeah! You did fuck up; you fucked up bad, why would you do this to me? Why would you do this to us?

“I don’t know, it’s like one minute I was drinking and the next minute I woke up  and I was naked and she was standing in the bathroom door way”

“Well did you like the view?” nicki said with an attitude sarcastically.

“Dammit nicki stop! I dint mean too! You know I only have eyes for you”

“Coulda fooled me!” nicki said in a cold giggle looking at safaree with tears in her eyes while her mascara ran.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now nicki? I worship the fucking ground you walk on! For god sakes I didn’t even want to leave! You made me!”

“Don’t give me that sentimental bull shit!” Nicki’s heart froze over again.

“Baby please just forgives me! I made a fucked up decision to drink”

“You got that right. Forgiveness is probably the furthest thing from my mind right now because you and Candi are not on my good side! Better yet yall two niggas on my shit list.”

“Love is many things but never unsure. We can work on this Onika this is what the hard times are about. The trials we go thru together helps us build our strength in marriage.

“You don’t know what the fuck a marriage is. If you did this wouldn’t have never happened. You let this happened… you let this happen to us.” Nick broke down and cried holding her head to the ceiling

“I chose to drink but I did not blatantly choose to leave with Monica. I even left it up to Lauren to drive the care home. I dint plan this, I dint want this, just try and hear me out Onika.”

“Don’t say that bitch name in my house… I heard you out and I heard what the fuck you had to say. All it sounds like is I CHEATED candy coated” she spat the words in his face. He closed his eyes and squeezed them tight at the words she said. It hurt him more than it hurt her because he knew that wasn’t his intention and he knew his life was in turmoil.

“I’m sorry baby” safaree dropped to his knees in tears.

“I’m sorry my ass. Don’t I’m sorry me. Fuck you and Candi too for bringing that bitch. All this shit is weak as fuck.”

“Please don’t do this nicki” he reached out and grabbed nickis waist while he was still on his knees and put his face in her tummy. He didn’t know at the moment his baby was there.

“Don’t please nicki me, I didn’t ruin our marriage YOU DID! You went to New York, you got high off lean, YOU left the club with that sack of what the fuck, and I’m guessing she got to drive your car! I didn’t even get to drive your car, and I bought the shit! I’m so done with you, I’m over you, and I’m over the situation. I can’t stress myself out”

“I dint let her drive my shit my keys were in my pocket, but like I said I don’t know what happened that night I’m sorry! I really am.”

“Well do you know if she used a condom safaree?” nicki crossed her arms and looked down at safaree still on his knees. He stood up and looked her dead in the eyes. She read the guilt on his face and automatically knew the answer before he spoke.

“I checked, and I didn’t see anything, no wrappings no nothing. I promise you I didn’t mean to Onika please don’t leave me.”

“Ha! She aint use one? Are you fucking kidding me! So you telling me this bitch might be pregnant with your child, and you may have caught something?” this struck nicki the most because she remembered at that moment she was pregnant herself. She went into a gaze as he spoke.

“Baby I don’t know she could be lying”

“Naw she aint lying! Because if a bitch sees a nigga with money they are going to try and trap yo ass!”

“I know and I feel stupid about it but baby don’t leave me, let’s work on us, let’s work this out” all safaree thought about was his life becoming depressing and not being with the love of his life.

“You don’t get it, it’s not us anymore. She took you from me. You were the only thing I could call mines that nobody had.” Nicki sat down on the stairs and waited on him to respond. Both of their faces were red and puffy from crying.

“And I’m still yours till the death of me” he put his hand to his heart.

“You don’t get it baby. Somebody else had you, contaminated you, touched you”

“Baby…”

“No just stop! I’ve lost a best friend because of this and I lost my biggest fan, my husband, my lover, my knight, my male bestest friend, my ride or die. I can’t trust you anymore. And when I sent you up there it was to prove to myself, that I trusted you with all my heart.”

“And you still can trust me” safaree said holding his hands on each side of him.

“I can’t safaree, I can’t, I let you go for 2 weeks and you come back and this is what you tell me. This was only 2 weeks! What happens when or if I had to be away from you for 2 months or more? You know out of all people I can’t trust after you lose it”

“But you are my wife and I am your husband, give me a chance. I will never leave your side ever. I don’t know what to do Onika; I don’t know how to live without you. I made you my life, I can’t be without you.”

“And I can’t be without you but this is something I can’t bare.” Nicki stood up and walked to the door walking passed him. He rushed behind her and grabbed her hips being a natural response when they are arguing.

“I refuse to be without you”

“Let me go safaree”

“No!”

“Let me go safaree, just let me go!” she tried to fight him off but he didn’t prevail

“No I will never let you go”

“Let me go now, I tried talking to you. I can’t get over this that quick, this isn’t a quick fix.”

“I’m not trying to make it a quick fix, but don’t shut me out.”

“No! You don’t get to say that!” nicki put her index finger in his face as best she could because he was so tall.

“What do you mean” safaree had a pleading look on his face

“You don’t get to try and fix it right now. Its non fixable right now. The more I talk at you right now, the more I hate you. The more look at you the more disgusted I become.”

“Don’t say that! You don’t hate me. You love me, you’re just upset.”

“No! don’t tell me what I am, this is not the safaree I married, the safaree I married was suppose to protect me and all the things that were ours, the safaree I married was suppose to protect my heart from the stab wounds, not let the groupies win. The safaree that’s standing in front of me has shattered and broken my heart…” she coughed out her cry before it became the wrenching sobs.

“Let me piece it back together I know it will take time, a and time heals all. Please don’t hate me, please don’t leave me. It was a dumb, selfish mistake. We can build from this Onika. We can grow. Trials and tribulations may come, but just don’t abandon us. I know you in and out and I feel as though you are going to leave. I’m willing to work on us and you should be too. We’ve been together for too long. Don’t end our marriage over one dumb mistake I wasn’t even aware of.” Safaree cried every last word out pleading to a crying nicki. Suspense filled his heart waiting on her next answer.

“I don’t want to end us, I don’t want to abandon us, but I need time, I need time for me, and I need time to think so I believe it’s best if you leave.”

“But if I leave I know you will never let me back in. your too stubborn to call, or text so I don’t want too.”

“What do you mean safaree?”

“You won’t let me back into your heart if I won’t stay in your sight. It’s easier for you to forget about me if I’m not there” he read her like a book because that was her plan.

“Well that’s not your decision, you lost decision making when you lost control last night. I need space, I need time.”

“So you’re not willing to work? You’re giving up?”

“This is working on us. I will send you papers when or if I make a different decision.”

“Don’t say that. Yo son! We will be together until we die and I mean that.”

“And a day ago I would have agreed, but it’s not that clear anymore”

“Baby please”

“No you have to go” nicki opened up the front door

“But…”

“Just go!”

“Nicki…” safaree hung his head. He was defeated by this whole argument he just had with his wife.

“I’m leaving, when I get back here in an hour I expect you to be gone.” Nicki walked out the door

“Nicki but I love you I don’t want to leave” she closed the door in his face before he could finish his sentence.

 Safaree fell to his knees and cried like a baby. He was losing his most prized possession, but he would do anything to get her back… anything. Nicki got in her truck and started it up and took off. She cried so hard for two miles she had to pull over to finish crying. She laid her red face on the steering wheel and balled her eyes out. She took her hot pink black berry from the cup holder and texted Lauren.

Nicki: hey! The worst shit just happened. My marriage is over.

Lauren: omg I’m so sorry baby I just found out 2 hours ago from Candi what happened. We will get thru this

Nicki: I officially hate that bitch and I’m going to call her and tell her. And I will have a search crew looking for that bitch Monica having sex with my mutha fuckin man. I can’t take this. If anybody calls you tell them I’m at the beach. I need to go clear my mind love you!

Lauren: somehow you will forgive your husband. We will talk more later. And ok I will let martin know. And don’t kill anybody! I need you to still be nicki minaj lol! Love you more talk to you real soon. Go and clear your mind and don’t stress my niece out ;)

Nicki: that’s why I’m going to relax. It’s not the baby fault and all this stress on my body is taking it out on the baby. So I’m tryna chill. But I’m off to the beach. P.s: I’m finna cuss the shit out of Candi! NOW CALLING! Pray for her ears!

Lauren: omg!

Nicki pulled back on to the road making it to Miami Beach around sunset. Before she got out the care. She called Candice.

“Hello?” nicki said

“Hello nick?”

“What the fuck is up with your friend?”

“What do you mean nick? What friend are you talking about?”

“bitch don’t play me for boo boo the fool, you know what friend I’m talking about, the one safaree met at the club and took his ol’ dumbass back to the hotel. Yeah who is dat bitch… oh waiting…? I know it aint that nerdy bitch you introduced me and Lauren too in high school! Then she left.”

“Omg nicki I’m so sorry”

“Oh I thought you aint know what friend I was talking about?”

“Nicki I can explain”

“How the fuck you gon explain? You knew what type of bitch she was, why did you bring her around my husband?”

“First of all yes that’s her; second of all she came up to New York from Florida by surprise, and third of all stops calling me out my name, I’m your friend”

“Fuck a friend! That bitch live in Florida for real? Oh okay. And friends don’t bring their gold digging friends around their real best friend’s rich husband, and also a friend who is always there! How could you?”

“Nicki I didn’t know she would come after him. Safaree didn’t even shake her hand when I introduced them and he had on his wedding ring. I bought her just to have fun, but I never meant to hurt you. And I just found out about the baby.”

“You were supposed to be watching him, and you didn’t do that. You let that stank rough pussy hoe come in and ruin what I and safaree built.”

“I promise you nicki I didn’t mean to… I didn’t think she would go for him.”

“But you weren’t 100% sure so you have stuck with her throughout the night.”

“But nicki safaree bought us 5 bottles of rose. We were all drunk to the point where we aint understand shit. So I couldn’t watch him or her.”

“But I don’t give a fuck! Point blank is, I hate you, I’m done with you, and I’m over this! But wait… what did she say when you talked to ha?”

“She just said he kept saying your name and she saw the tattoo on his chest. She didn’t know who you were till I spoke with her. She said she didn’t know that you were that nicki… nicki minaj.”

“Wait, wait, and wait! She doesn’t know who the fuck nicki minaj is? Who is she? WHORU? That bitch know who the fuck I am, she know who the fuck safaree is, because his ass is with me every fuckin where I go. And you dumber than a box of rocks if you seriously believed that chicken noodle bitch”

“I believed her because she say she don’t listen to you.”

“BITCH! She heard pink Friday! Everybody got pinkfriday! She heard did it on em, that’s why she went for my husband.”

“I meant for none of this to happen. Please don’t treat me like this. I didn’t fuck him! She did! She just happened to be my friend.”

“Fuck you right about now”

“We aint got to take it that far nicki!”

“Yes the fuck we do! Bitch I’m pregnant, my husband’s a cheater because he cheated on me with YOUR friend. I can’t stand you so just take responsibility for it. You bought her there so claim that shit, if yo dude was here I would watch his punk ass like a hawk.”

“And I know you would, and that’s why I’m so sorry. I hope you can forgive me for bringing that hoe around him.”

“Naw bitch I will think about it. You need to use your mind more.”

“Well just to let you know I’m not friends with her no more. I choose you over her anyway. I can’t afford to lose you and safaree. I would do anything to fix yall relationship.”

“Naw! You still her friend Candice! You want to know why?”

“What why? I don’t want to be friends with someone like dat “

“Um! You need to keep me in the loop with her. I hate you right now, but I love you, but I hate the stupid ass decisions yo cock-a-tu face ass make”

“And I love you too nicki, and I’m sorry. But just know it wasn’t safaree’s fault.”

“Just know sorry not making my heart heals faster. When we speak now it’s only on updates until I can get over you and you’re fucked up ways. You owe me. I’m done”

Nicki hung up the phone and laid her head against the head rest of her seat and exhale hard. She was so mad at the world right now she didn’t know what to do. Since she was pregnant she couldn’t go drink it off of lash out at the world. She would simply call Lauren and call her mother that night and try to make since of what she was just told.

Nicki got out of her truck and switched out of her addias sneakers into her Gucci white flip flops. She looked out into the beach as she closed her door. It wasn’t a lot of people there because it was early November but it was still nice out. People were leaving gathering their kids because they had school the next day and it was 8:05pm already. The sunset was pink and orange and nicki loved it. As she walked towards the water, she took deep breaths to relieve the tension in her chest.

She spread her purple towel on the sand and kicked off her flip flops. She rolled up her burnt orange velour jogging suit pants and walked towards the water. The waves and tides were high because of the warm wind. The wind hit nicki on her right side blowing all of her hair to the left. She put on her hood and stuck her feet in the water and looked out into the sun set and prayed. She let all her worries go and left them to god.

She began to talk to herself to understand why man did what they do. Words became a poem, and the poem became a tune, and the tune became a song as she stood there dropping all of her worries in the water. Water was a symbol of pureness to her and cleansing so the beach was perfect for that night.

-

Safaree went upstairs and packed all that he could and filled his army duffle bag, and 6 other suit cases. He was going to stay back in New York with his mom and he would call her on the way there. He really needed to talk to her; she was the only person other than nicki who could calm him down. Safaree called their driver Lawrence to pick him up and take him back to the airport.

As safaree was about to get in the car he took one last look at the place he once called home and sighed deeply and put his ray bans on. One tear slid from under the glasses and he got in the car and he headed for the airport.

*rough right! I cried twice writing this! This shit is crazy! She kicked his ass out! lolz she only cool with Candice right now just to see if that bitch got pregnant by her man or if she try and pull some more shit. Nicki love the word bitch right? lmfao. Do yall think she should forgive Candice? I don’t but she does! But the moral of the story is everybody makes mistakes. Comment Love @TrebbleBarbie*